Calendar Syncing vs. Calendar Sinking

Wall Calendar - January 2014

When I wrote down a few notes to prepare for this post, I titled it Calendaring Sinking. I’m not sure if that is a reflection of my spelling ability, or the lack their of, or my inability towards all things tech-y.

Thankfully, my husband always has my back and he’s a really good proofreader. Otherwise, you might be thinking that I’m asking you to drown your calendars which I’m sure some days we’d all like to do just that.

Vitaliy and I were first inspired to sync our calendars after hearing Mark Driscoll share how he and his wife approach it. They get together every Sunday or Monday night and share what they each having coming up, how they can support each other and then they sync their calendars at this point. Its a very good way to prevent conflict, practice communication, and stay on the same page all before the week even starts.

To make things even easier for us, Vitaliy and I completely synced our calendars together by having shared google calendars. This way we’re always up to speed with what’s going on in each others lives. What has also worked for our relationship too is that I’m the designated social chair for our family. I gather all the invites, scan our joint calendars, go over our options with Vitaliy, and then schedule or decline based on what we decide together. This is something that gets easier and easier over time as we learn each other strengths and what works best for us as a couple.

We’re now currently trying to incorporate this concept for our business life. We’re not only husband and wife, but also business partners and have to therefore communicate even more in order to stay on the same page. Managing expectations is a constant juggling act, but I think we’re finally finding something that works for us. It’s all about trying something out, communicating more, refining it, and working together to implement the process together. Then repeating that same sequence if needed.

Give it a try! I don’t have children yet, but I imagine running a household together is a lot like running a business together. You have to plan, communicate, and manage expectations. A simple and necessary place to start is by getting your calendars syncing, not sinking. The syncing will actually prevent your relationship from sinking.

Happy Tuesday! How do you handle planning and calendar scheduling in your relationship? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below! Let’s make marriage happen by being more intentional in the smallest of ways.

Styling by the lovely Kate from Style Smaller.

The Gift of
Being Present

This past weekend I participated in my first social-media-free-weekend.

No Facebook, no Instagram, and I only used Pinterest to look up recipes I planned on cooking that day. As a reminder and in case of temptation, I created a folder on my iPhone and called it “distractions”. I then moved the apps into that folder. I also removed email from my phone too. This, I think, I will keep removed going forward as there really is no reason for me to check email on my phone. Because I don’t respond to emails over the phone, it’s simply a distraction.

To be quite honest, I was shocked at the effect these small changes had on me. I felt entirely present in each moment and my mind felt so clear. On top of that, I finally got around to doing so many things that I’ve been wanting to do. I’m not really convinced that I had so much more time because I wasn’t on my phone. Though I’m sure it played a part. But what I think I learned most from the exercise was how much being on my phone distracts and clutters my mind. It removes me from the moment I’m actually in, and depending on what I see or read, when I come back into the moment my mind and mood can continue thinking about or being affected by what I saw or read. Without the constant distractions, I was able to just look in front of myself and see how much there was to enjoy in my day.

So, what did I get to fully enjoy? Well, there were many little things throughout the weekend, but the highlight was sitting with Vitaliy at a cafe on Saturday. We began choosing pictures from last year in order to create a 2013 Family Album. We sipped a hot cup of coffee together and enjoyed belly aching laughter as we relived so many incredible moments. It made me so thankful. God is good.

This is a picture we came across from a trip we took in June. It’s a picture of my favorite street in Ukraine. I had walked this same street 8 years ago at the start of the darkest time of my life. I remember being so afraid and so sad. Vitaliy and I ate dinner at a restaurant on this street a few days before I had to return to the US. I had no idea when I’d see Vitaliy again. He was still waiting for the documentation for him and his younger sister Leska to come to the states. I had to leave him behind when I felt like he needed me the most. A time when I needed him the most.

We went back to this street last June and I remembered all those painful memories. But I stood amazed and overjoyed at God’s faithfulness. He walked us through the darkness (me kicking, screaming and crying) and brought us out into the light. What beauty.

Thoughts about Ukraine are running high these days with all the turmoil going on there. Our emotions are running high too, as a result. Please keep Ukraine in your prayers.

Andrews-Descent-Kiev

Take Note Of
The Good

Let’s just go ahead and say those four lovely words we all love to say, Thank God It’s Friday!

This week has been an exceptionally difficult one. Emotionally. There really is no big secret or reason behind the emotions other than the fact that I’m a woman. But my poor husband has been so incredibly supportive through it all. He constantly teaches me what patience and grace look like through our marriage and the way he loves me.

In marriage, and really in all aspects of life, it’s so easy to focus on the negative. For example, if you were to tell me 9 good things about me and 1 negative thing, guess which item my mind will be mulling over. The one negative! Don’t we do this with our spouses? We keep track of all their wrong doing and quickly lose track of all the good.

I love this idea that Kate from StyleSmaller shared with us about how she is being more intentional in her marriage. She decided to make a conscious effort in keeping track of the good and forgiving and extending grace for the not so good. She started this journal to help her remember the sweet good things that she doesn’t want to soon forget. Here’s a snapshot we took of her new thankful journal.

Whether it’s a physical notebook, or possibly a notes tab on your phone, let’s start taking note of all the good things we can be thankful for regarding our spouses. There will be so many more than we think. Focus on the good. Be intentional. Make your marriage happen!

Let’s start right now! Leave me a comment and share one big or small thing your spouse did for you this week that you don’t want to soon forget. Go!

Notebook