Written by Candace on January 23, 2014 | 4 Comments

Knowing When To Fight

Knowing when to fight is just as important as knowing how to fight.

For some reason, I tend to want to have serious conversations late at night. They never end well because they stir up emotions which aren’t handled well when you don’t have the energy needed. This became an issue for us and thankfully I heeded my husband’s advice and we no longer have serious discussions of any kind late at night.

Knowing when to fight is just as important as knowing how. There is so much wisdom in this quote. Too much to unravel all in one blog post, but I’ll simply address the first portion of the quote – knowing when to fight. If you are continually struggling in the same areas of your relationship, I’d recommend starting to deal with them offensively instead of defensively. Here’s what I mean.

Let’s say that you and your spouse constantly fight about whose turn it is to do the dishes, take out the trash, or do the laundry. Don’t wait until the heat of the moment when both of you are too tired to communicate in love. Set aside a night when you can both emotionally and mentally prepare yourselves and have the difficult and much needed discussion then. Together, discuss and make a plan for who will do what and when. Try the plan out for awhile and reconvene if things still aren’t working until you find a plan that fits.

We had to apply this tactic recently ourselves. Vitaliy and I realized that we could potentially start having serious conflict about finances. Instead of waiting for the conflict, we decided to respond offensively. We now set aside every Monday night with another couple and are currently going through the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace series. Making this investment for our relationship and the future of our family has been huge. We’re becoming more and more unified when it comes to our finances.

What are you struggling with in your relationship or marriage? Be proactive instead of reactive and pick the right time to have the difficult discussions you need to have. Don’t avoid the problem and hope it will go away. Do the work. Be intentional. And make your marriage happen!

Knowing when to fight is just as important as knowing how

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Written by Candace on January 22, 2014 | 3 Comments

A Year of
Date Ideas

This is the year to MAKE MARRIAGE HAPPEN. This is the year to make your marriage happen.

I believe it can be done one date at a time. The date idea is less about the activity and more about making a conscious investment into your relationship. By setting aside time to focus solely on each other, you are telling your spouse they are your priority. You are also telling yourself that marriage is your priority. Both of which are reminders worth repeating on a consistent basis.

Date nights aren’t just going to happen. You have to plan for them. And then you have to fight for them. To be more intentional about our dates this year, Vitaliy and I trying something new. Here’s the idea – map out a minimum of one date each month. More dates are always recommended, but hopefully this will help you accomplish at least one special date each month this year.

Here are the instructions:

1. Brainstorm 12 date ideas with your spouse. Mix things up with dinners/activities/sight seeing/etc.

2. Once you’ve decided on your 12 for the year, write each idea on a notecard.

3. Then shuffle the notecards and, without looking at the ideas, place them in 12 separate envelopes. Then label each envelope with a month of the year.

4. At the beginning of each month, open up the corresponding envelope and pick a date to make it happen that month. Then add it to your calendar and arrange for childcare if needed.

That’s it! Work together. Be intentional. Make marriage happen.

Styling by Stylesmaller

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Written by Candace on January 21, 2014 | 6 Comments

The Business of Word of Mouth

Private backyard wedding in Woodside, CA

A referral is the greatest form of a compliment. I’m not sure who originally quoted that but it couldn’t ring more true.

This month Vitaily and I embarked on our sixth year owning our own business. I couldn’t be happier or more thankful to be doing something I truly love. Growing up, I always pictured myself as a business woman, but I never imagined owning my own business. I definitely have the heart of an entrepreneur, but it’s my husband’s adventurous spirit that brought it out of me.

Starting and then running your own business is truly a journey. As I reflect on the past 5 years, I’m amazed at all the lessons we’ve learned and ways we’ve changed. But the lesson I’m thankful to be learning right now is that there really is no such thing as an overnight success. I used to want that for myself. But I now see the need for the journey. I see God’s grace in giving us bit by bit. I see the beauty in the dedication, hard work and perseverance required for the journey. You all remember The Tortoise And The Hare, right? The tortoise always wins! That’s our new visual reminder.

Though it does require tenacity to run your own business, it also requires community. And we have the best! We wouldn’t be where we are today without all of you – our friends, family, amazing clients, and fellow wedding professionals. Our friends and family sharing their love and support by sending weddings our way. And our sweet clients and fellow wedding professionals voicing their compliments in the form of a referral. I repeat, we could not do this without you.

While our business grows predominantly from word of mouth referrals, I’m always excited to see who the internet will bring knocking on my digital door. Style Me Pretty has introduced us to some incredible clients and vendors I’m so happy to know. Our relationship with SMP has been a huge blessing in 2013! I’m excited to add a new vendor relationship with Once Wed this year and see who they send our way. SMP and Once Wed are two brands I admire and I’m thankful to be working with them both to help add value to the Pictilio brand.

2014 is a new year and a new chapter on this journey for us. And it’s our most ambitious year yet! We are praying (key word “praying”, because all that we have is from Him) for 25 weddings this year. I’m afraid to put that in writing, but Lara Casey has taught me the power of writing things down and sharing it with others. If you would like to join us in this journey by praying for this goal or referring a couple our way, we would be most thankful. But most of all, thank you for everything you’ve already done. It always feels good to know that we have a crowd of supporters both near and far.

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