Written by Candace on March 28, 2014 | 3 Comments

Date Idea: Relive Your Favorite Trip

I kept daydreaming about our trip to New York City. I just wanted to snap my fingers and be back on the busy and bustling streets of the big city.

I could sense that maze of buildings surrounding me and I could taste all the foods I fell in love with. The energy in New York is inspiring. At least for a few days. I’m not sure how I would feel if I lived there. But I wanted to go back. I should correct that, I want to go back. Even now. Today seems like an absolutely perfect day to fly to New York. Unfortunately, reason works against that idea. Perhaps we’ll book a wedding there, that would be an awesome reason to go back.

Until that happens, Vitaliy and I decided to get creative and bring New York to us. For a recent date night at home, we decided to watch the movie Manhattan while enjoying one of our favorite smoothies we discovered at Siggy’s Good Food in Brooklyn. We actually arrived at Siggy’s after missing our stop and ending up in Dumbo. It was the best mistake we made on our trip.

With only knowledge of the ingredients, we played around with measurements until we felt we had a good match with the flavor and consistency of our favorite smoothie from Siggy’s. It was so much fun trying to recreate it! We got a taste and enjoyed the sights of New York if only for a night. But it was a perfect way to commemorate and relive one of our favorite trips. All within the comforts of our own home.

I’ve got some ideas for recreating another trip at home. Do you? I would love to hear them!

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Written by Candace on March 25, 2014 | 3 Comments

Try New Things

This August Vitaliy and I will be celebrating our 8 year wedding anniversary.

I honestly cannot believe I’ve been married for that long. Nor can I believe all that Vitaliy and I have been through as husband and wife. I suppose I’m not as surprised we’ve made it this far. What I am surprised by is that we’re still in love. We genuinely enjoy each others company. This I know is a blessing.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how different I am because of Vitaliy. His love is constantly changing me. He softens me. But not only that, I like different things because of him. I like sushi and audio books, road trips and moustaches. To name a few. And those are all new to me because of him. He loves those things so I learn to love those things. This is a picture of intimacy.

Sometimes I’ll try something he likes and I don’t end up enjoying it, but he knows I tried. He knows I wanted to learn what he loves. And I get to see a new side of him I didn’t know about. My life has become so much richer because of this “trying new things” he’s taught me. He changes me. I’m not the same girl I was 8 years ago. We change, we’re always changing. But in marriage, your changing should constantly be a changing and a morphing into one. I’m still me, but I’m never “me” at the expense of “we.”

Next time your spouse asks you to try something new, do it. Give it a try. Do it for them, but it may end up being your new favorite thing. And then you’ll get to do it or enjoy it “together.” And that’s what it’s all about, being together.

The latest entry for the Making Marriage Happen series. This month’s theme is on intimacy: be intimate and make your marriage happen.

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Written by Candace on March 24, 2014 | 3 Comments

Physically Present, Mentally Absent

A couple years ago, I got a little creative with my Christmas presents for Vitaliy.

Actually, I’m not sure “creative” is the right word because there was nothing DIY or pretty about it. In fact, it was completely last minute. I grabbed used boxes that were going to be thrown away and I finished wrapping them just moments before we were supposed to open gifts. Like I said, they weren’t pretty, but their value could be measured in love and the words enclosed came straight from my heart.

Inside one of the boxes read a note that said “my mind.” I wanted to gift my mind to Vitaliy because most days I didn’t. Most days I found myself physically present while being mentally absent. Imagine talking to someone only to have them ask you to repeat yourself revealing they were never really listening to you in the first place. I’m sharing this now because it’s something I find myself still struggling with. I run through a host of scenarios in my mind while trying to listen enough to pretend I’m still engaged. If intimacy is all about getting to know the other person more, you can imagine how much this affects my intimacy with Vitaliy.

Along with your thoughts, it’s also very easy to disengage with your spouse by getting on your phone. This is something Vitaliy and I both admit we struggle with and it has caused points of tension for us both. Whether it’s your thoughts, your phone, or something else entirely, it’s important to be aware of the things that could be preventing you from giving your spouse your undivided attention. And if you aren’t really sure, just ask them. Perhaps chat about it on your next date night. I’m praying for you and your relationship in this area. It’s not an easy one. But remember, you’re not alone. Let’s Make Marriage Happen together.

Card and styling by Style Smaller.

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