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The Weekender

Here’s a collection of my thoughts and findings from the week. Wishing you all a restful and fun-filled weekend!

Stephen Colbert: Any Colbert fans out there? I was a fan already, but now I’m an even bigger one after reading this article. People’s suffering is sacred, he says. Yes!!! Yes it is! We’ve learned this ourselves. And there are so many people who I love that are going through difficult times that I pray and hope one day know, feel and believe this too. It took me seven years after the deaths of Vitaliy’s parents and brother to understand this and, as Colbert puts it, be thankful for the very thing I wish never happened.

The Best Burger in SF: I cannot believe what a big hit our search for the best burger has been. I had two friends send me “Best Burger in SF” lists this week, here and here. We clearly need to hunker down and do our final taste tests. There are way too many options! I think we’re going to need to narrow them down to around 6, test and call it a day. I won’t be able to fit in my clothes if we were to really try all of the options!

Humans of New York: My friend Joanna introduced me to Humans of New York this week. At first I was thankful, but then as I started reading through some of the stories I wasn’t sure I was so thankful. Some are so painful! But this is the reality of the world we live in and I don’t want to turn a blind eye. Go follow! The pictures and, most importantly, the stories are full of life and light and darkness and hope. Enjoy! And you can thank or maybe not thank me later.

Date Night: While an official date night didn’t happen this week, I did surprise Vitaliy with a spontaneous family outing to the city last night. I plan on celebrating one-on-one with him on Monday for his actual birthday, but I wanted us to celebrate as a family too. He loves being outdoors and picnics have become one of our new favorite activities. So we packed up the car, made sure to bring Rose’s pajamas with us since we’d be staying out past her bedtime (she didn’t seem to mind!) and picked up wine + a cheese/meat platter upon arrival at AG Ferrari Italian Foods. It was a very hot day yesterday so a picnic at Yerba Buena Gardens was the perfect way for Vitaliy to relax after an extremely demanding week. He loved it! And so did Rose and I!

Cheerleaders: My mom leaves a comment on every single one of my blog posts even if it’s a topic that may not speak to her directly. This week as I read each comment, it tugged at my heart strings. I know it’s her little way of letting me know that she’s still following along…still supporting my dreams. And this week, I needed some encouragement from my #1 cheerleader. Running your own business is hard. And this is a hard season for our business. Being pregnant and then having Rose, we weren’t able to invest in the business like we normally do. We had just enough time, energy, and drive to take care of our current clients. And the business took a hit for it! On the one hand, I’m thankful for the slower season as it gives me more time with Rose. But as a business owner, it’s always a bit nerve wracking. So, thank you mom for your sweet and subtle nudge this week! I hope I can be the kind of cheerleader for Rose and her dreams the way you have always been for me.

Photo: Selfie shenanigans at the park last night!

Birthday Picnic
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The Weekender

It’s Friday! Here is a new edition of The Weekender.

Rose Svitlana: My baby girl is 6 months old as of August 14. She is fiercely strong; it’s one of the first things people say about her. That, and she has the most beautiful eyes. I personally love her squishy thighs. There are definitely days I feel there’s no way I can be a mother for the long term. And then there are days that I count motherhood as one of my greatest gifts. Today is a mix of both!

Date Night: We spent date night in this week! We put Rose to bed and then gave each other our full attention. Vitaliy got out a bottle of 17 year old single malt that he kept for a “special occasion.” Putting our marriage as a priority is worth the occasion, he said. Anyone who knows Vitaliy knows that he has a strong love for giving toasts. Last night we toasted to marriage and making each other more of a priority. He compared our marriage to the complexity and richness of a nicely aged and matured single malt. It was epic as all of his toasts are!

Vitaliy’s Birthday: Vitaliy’s birthday is coming up at the end of this month. Last year I scheduled him to go skydiving for his birthday. Both attempts were rained out and then the season ended. He is a lover of experiences over gifts. Leave me some birthday celebration suggestions in the comments! My sleep-deprived mind is falling short and he deserves something special.

Summer Bucket List: With school back in session, everyone seems to be talking about the arrival of Fall. Though I do feel ready for some cooler weather, I don’t want the ease of summer to end just yet. I revisited our list this week and I couldn’t believe everything we’ve done so far. I’m not sure we’ll get to every single one, but being able to use this list when we had a free day this summer was so helpful. Smore’s in our backyard is definitely going to be a priority over the next week or so.

Failure: Do you see that beautiful photo of Vitaliy and I? We took that picture and a lot more over a year ago for the About Us page of our website. We were long overdo for updated photos and I wasn’t sure how excited I’d be to take new photos after being pregnant. We have yet to update our website with the new photos. We shot a new video too around the same time. I’m sharing this to let you know that you are not alone if you have something on your to-do-list that has been there for over a year. Cheers to progress and not perfection!

Rising Tide Challenge: Speaking of imperfection, I joined the #risingtidechallenge on Instagram this week and only completed 3 out of the 5 days. But I wanted to share because it’s a community worth looking into if you are a creative/entrepreneur/small business owner. You can find the Rising Tide Society website here. Their motto is community over competition! Now, that is a mindset I can get behind!

I’m watching Rose work on her crawling skills as I type this. She’s not quite there yet, but she sure is getting close. I hope you all have a great weekend! We actually have a free Saturday and I’m hoping to make the most of it! Any fun plans or events going on in the area I should know about? Leave me a comment!

Vitaliy and Candace
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Date Night In Marriage

Date-Night-In-Marriage

Vitaliy and I are starting to feel the effects a little one can have on a marriage relationship.

The lack of energy left at the end of the day to give to each other, or the beginning of the day. Or the middle of the day! You get the point, always tired. The constant concern when leaving your little one with a babysitter. The little time available to just be “us” again. Me and him. Candace and Vitaliy. I miss it. I miss him.

Though it’s to be expected, I’m not giving up. We just have to think differently, we just need to get creative. I think one of the biggest lies in marriage is “once we get through this difficult season, we’ll be able to focus more on our marriage.” It’s a lie because life is hard no matter the season. Some seasons are just harder than others. It’s true that we are not able to invest as much in the current season we’re in, but we can invest something. Believe me, I’m tempted to wait until Rose is older, not as needy, sleeps better, etc. But the more I neglect my marriage, the more I neglect Vitaliy, the worse off our relationship is going to be. And when we do decide to face things, to do the hard work, it’s going to be a lot more work then if we simply tend to things now, bit by bit, date by date.

Date night is not about the activity. Date night is about making the investment, making the connection, doing the hard work to cultivate a healthy and strong relationship. Use the activity as means of connection, but don’t get stuck there. Depending on the season you’re in, do what your relationship needs most. It might be a fun night out or it might be having a necessary discussion or it might be staying home in bed (if you know what I mean!).

The goal is to think differently about date night. Date night as boyfriend and girlfriend is about getting to know each other and developing your relationship. Date night in marriage is about cultivating and deepening your relationship. Whatever you do, don’t wait. Do something, no matter how small, this week.

This is the second in a three part series to get us to Think Different About Date Night. You can read the first part, Pre-Planning For Date Night.

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