I love the way he says gramma instead of grandma.
I love the way his laugh can be heard from another room. His moustache makes me smile and his eyes make me melt. With humor he breaks through my barriers and I fall weak to his ways. His strength puts me at ease and yet his gentleness refines me. I am thankful that I can call such a man my husband. My best friend. My Valentine.
Kiss the one you love. Hold them tight and never let them go.
I saw The Vow this weekend. Me and about a million other hopeless romantics. Besides being absolutely smitten with Rachel McAdams, I walked away thankful. Thankful that someone, Michael Sucsy to be exact, was courageous enough to portray marriage in a way that we don’t often see today.
The plot, inspired by a true story, is about a married couple who get in a car accident. The wife, played by Rachel McAdams, wakes up having lost her memory of the last five years which includes all memory of her husband, played by Channing Tatum. The rest of the movie is spent with Tatum’s character trying to help his wife recover her memory and fall in love with him again. Though their situation is unique, it made me think about my own relationship. When tough times hit, we always try to find our way back to the “good ol’ times.” However, people change and so do life circumstances which is all the more reason to never stop pursuing your spouse, getting to know who they are today, and helping them fall in love with you all over again…and again.
The husband’s commitment to his wife was unfathomable. I know I was inspired by it. But there is one scene in the movie that I found to be the most powerful. It’s a scene with McAdam’s character talking to her mom about her dad’s infidelity. She’s outraged by it and doesn’t understand why her mom stayed in the relationship. She accuses her mom of just brushing it off and implies weakness on her part for doing so. Her mom defiantly fights back, “I chose to stay!” Not in weakness or defeat. “I chose to focus on all the good things he did instead of focusing on the one bad thing. I chose to forgive.” Forgive? Such a foreign concept today, but one that every relationship desperately needs in order to survive.
Pursue. Commit. Forgive. That is what The Vow has reminded me to do in my own relationship.
I remember reading a little blurb in a magazine. It said that Heidi Klum and Seal went back to the same place they got married to renew their vows every year. I thought it was ultra-romantic and it inspired us to do something similar for our two year anniversary.
I guess in a way I idealized them. I admired that their love transcended racial boundaries. And in the divorce infested world of Hollywood, they appeared to be doing something different. I had high hopes they’d be able to beat the odds.
While getting ready for work yesterday, I got a text from Vitaliy who is away at a conference. This is what it read, “Heidi Klum is getting a divorce. Sad day for marriage after 7 years.” I sat with my morning cup of tea and wanted to cry. There goes another one, I thought. Being a child of divorce myself, I am well aware of the pain this entire family is about to enter into.
I was equally devastated because I’m a wife myself. A wife trying to keep her marriage rooted in love, sacrifice and commitment. And every time someone gets a divorce, it’s an affront to marriage, even my own. It’s like another announcement is blasted over the intercom of life saying, “If it’s not working, it just wasn’t meant to be. It’s not going to get better. Divorce isn’t that big of a deal.” We all hear the lies and sometimes we’re tempted to believe them.
I am truly saddened for this family. But instead of just sitting with those emotions I let them fuel me to invest in my own marriage and to find ways to invest in those around me. So go kiss the one you love and babysit for a friend! Your relationship needs it and so does their’s.
