The Vow
Lessons Learned

I saw The Vow this weekend. Me and about a million other hopeless romantics. Besides being absolutely smitten with Rachel McAdams, I walked away thankful. Thankful that someone, Michael Sucsy to be exact, was courageous enough to portray marriage in a way that we don’t often see today.

The plot, inspired by a true story, is about a married couple who get in a car accident. The wife, played by Rachel McAdams, wakes up having lost her memory of the last five years which includes all memory of her husband, played by Channing Tatum. The rest of the movie is spent with Tatum’s character trying to help his wife recover her memory and fall in love with him again. Though their situation is unique, it made me think about my own relationship. When tough times hit, we always try to find our way back to the “good ol’ times.” However, people change and so do life circumstances which is all the more reason to never stop pursuing your spouse, getting to know who they are today, and helping them fall in love with you all over again…and again.

The husband’s commitment to his wife was unfathomable. I know I was inspired by it. But there is one scene in the movie that I found to be the most powerful. It’s a scene with McAdam’s character talking to her mom about her dad’s infidelity. She’s outraged by it and doesn’t understand why her mom stayed in the relationship. She accuses her mom of just brushing it off and implies weakness on her part for doing so. Her mom defiantly fights back, “I chose to stay!” Not in weakness or defeat. “I chose to focus on all the good things he did instead of focusing on the one bad thing. I chose to forgive.” Forgive? Such a foreign concept today, but one that every relationship desperately needs in order to survive.

Pursue. Commit. Forgive. That is what The Vow has reminded me to do in my own relationship.