Written by Candace on March 11, 2014 | 2 Comments

Date Idea:
Secret Rendezvous

After some travel of my own, I arrived back home around 1am only to help Vitaliy out the door at 6am for a business trip. We were two ships passing in the night.

After almost a week of being apart, Vitaliy sent me a text message and asked me to cancel my plans for the following day and meet him for a secret rendezvous. After being married for 7 years, it’s very easy to lack spontaneity in the relationship. I was on board for anything with the words “secret rendezvous” in them. I met up with Vitaliy on the central coast in a cute little town called Paso Robles. It was only for a night, but it was just enough time.

I had a million and one reasons why I shouldn’t go. I had to cancel plans with a friend. I had a ton of work to get done. The three hour drive would be a waste of gas money. But at the end of the list, all I could think about was how much more important it was that I go – my marriage deserved and needed the investment. Vitaliy deserved my time and attention. And like I said, he had me at “secret rendezvous”.

Sometimes intimacy requires you drop everything, leave it all behind, and go on a secret rendezvous with the person you love most. If they truly are the most important person in your life, then show them with your actions. I promise it will be worth letting go of everything else. Even if only for a night.

Read more about our Make Marriage Happen series for March: Be intimate.

Library building in Paso Robles downtown park

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Written by Candace on March 4, 2014 | 5 Comments

Be Intimate
Make Marriage Happen

Y’all I have really been dreading this month’s theme. Not the theme itself, but how to discuss it in a way that wouldn’t leave people running away.

The Make Marriage Happen theme for March is “be intimate.” Obviously, when discussing intimacy in marriage you’re going to talk about sex. And when I think about that, all I hear in my thoughts is the 90s anthem “Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt-N-Pepa. And then I digress, who wants to hear me talk about sex? It’s too intimate! It’s too private. But it’s also so necessary. Sex is one of the leading causes for marital problems even though it’s meant to be one of the best things about marriage. Why the disconnect?

While I do hope to find a graceful way to discuss sex in marriage, I think there is one important item I hope to express more than anything. Intimacy is not a synonym for sex. Intimacy is about knowing, about being familiar with. While sex is the pinnacle form of intimacy within marriage, I don’t think it should be the only avenue for cultivating intimacy within our marriages. In fact, I think the more intimate we are in other areas of our marriage, the more fulfilling our sex life becomes.

But what I want to explore and discuss more than anything is the true sense of the word “intimacy”. The act of knowing and deeply understanding. Trusting ourselves to each other. To know and be known can be terrifying, and yet intensely beautiful. That is true love isn’t it? to be fully known and still chosen. But I think there is a part of all of us that fears being fully known.

Even as I write this, as I allow myself to be known to you, I’m afraid. But one of my goals this year is to write about things I’m afraid to share. I’m not sharing this for the shock factor or to gain popularity. My hope is that something intensely beautiful will come from me allowing myself to be known. I want to break down the walls I put up in hopes that you’ll be willing to break down yours. I hope someone reading this can relate and find encouragement. To know that we’re not in this alone. Let’s Make Marriage Happen together. And let’s explore ways we can #beintimate in our relationships.

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Written by Candace on February 27, 2014 | 1 Comment

Jared & Janice Sausalito Engagement

Jared and Janice have their friends to thank for their first meeting.

The two had been matched up and there were talks about a potential blind date, but they ended up first meeting at a friend’s get together. They both went to the party knowing they were going to meet the other person there. It was like having a blind date with all of your close friends in attendance. But once they saw each other, they were both thankful.

Jared was definitely interested in seeing Janice again. This time without all of their friends joining them. With the party in full swing, he finally got the courage to ask Janice for her phone number. And just as he began to utter the words the room fell silent. Though it made an already nerve-racking situation even more embarrassing, Jared walked away with Janice’s phone number and plans for an official first date.

Janice and Jared said those famous three words “I love you” while walking along the water’s edge in Sausalito. They decided to go back to that very spot for their engagement photos. The session was filled with love and laughter and I’m confident their marriage will be too.

Jared and Janice, I smiled my way through your photos. I wanted to go back and relive the entire session. I cannot wait to see you two again! Your wedding this November is going to be a special one. We are so excited for you both! Congratulations on your engagement! We hope you enjoy this very special time of life.

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