Vitaliy and I stood in the never-ending line at Chipotle. I was cold and extremely tired. Of course, now, I can’t remember what he did or said, but Vitaliy did something to upset me. As soon as he realized something was the matter, he whispered in my year, I love you.
This was my response: You do realize that when you say I love you, it does not mean I’m sorry.
Apparently, I was as cold on the inside as I was on the outside. Thankfully, Vitaliy always knows how to warm me up and by the time we got our food things were all squared away. But thinking back on the encounter, I completely disagree with myself. Though my feelings agree, I know this way of living will not be good for our marriage.
Forgiveness is warranted regardless of an apology. Apologies are good and I highly recommend them, but forgiveness should not be dependent on receiving them. That’s a tough truth to swallow; at least it is for me. But seeing how often I need forgiveness myself, how can I even think about withholding it from Vitaliy?
The next time you are having a hard time forgiving your spouse, think back to the last time you needed their forgiveness. It may help put things in perspective.