I’m hopping on just for a second today and then I’m off to play in the warm sunshine with my sweet Rose.
But I wanted to share a recent piece I wrote for Lauren Truelock’s #wcw series, a space to connect with real women just like yourself, perfectly imperfect. A big thank you to Tami Paige for nominating me!
There you have it! Go take a read and let me know if you connect with anything. I’d love to hear from you! Surely I’m not alone.
xo Candace
Our baby turned 1 on February 14 and I still feel emotional about it all.
I never imagined I’d be the kind of mom to feel so emotional about the big milestones. I just assumed I’d be excited and happy and proud. Which I am all of those things too, but there is a part of me that feels sad. Sad that I can’t remember all of my favorite moments over the last year. I honestly don’t remember the time Rose took her first steps. However, the more I start feeling down about this, I realize I’m missing out on the here and now. Memories are great! I am in the business of capturing them, after all. But they don’t hold more value then the current moment you’re in. If I focus too much on what I might be forgetting, I miss out on the opportunity of making new memories. Today. Right now.
And the truth is I didn’t forget everything. I remember the first time she laughed. I remember her first word “bye, bye” followed by the one that actually stuck “rough, rough”. Her word for dog…and now any animal. I may not remember her first steps precisely, but I remember she took them at 9 months and officially walked at 10 months. She’s now 12 months and knows how to walk backward and sideways. And I just made a new memory, Rose could hold up one finger on her 1st birthday when prompted by the question, “How old are you, Rose?”
But those are just milestones really. Fun to witness and remember. But I want to remember her smell, that sweet, sweet Rosie smell before receiving her first bath. That moment Vitaliy told me we had a daughter. A daughter! To feel her skin against mine. The process of growing into my new skin as a mom. The memory of falling more and more in love with her with each day that passed. To feel her squishy legs that grew and strengthened from the milk coming out of my body. The tired, sleepless nights I swore might kill me, followed by the sunrise and new grace to face another day. I never want to forget the struggle. Oh, the struggle! The laboring and the pain, both in child bearing and child rearing. It’s through that pain and suffering where life comes from, both hers and my own. She changes and I change with her. She grows as I grow. Nothing staying the same. But those are the things you can’t capture with a camera. They’re stored in the heart.
Rose amazes me every day. Every parent thinks their child is the most adorable genius ever to be born. And I fall write into that parenting category. She has my intensity, passion and strong vocal chords. And she has Vitaliy’s patience, curiosity and mischievous spirit. She somehow looks just like V or myself, depending on who she’s next to at the moment of comparison. And her strongest personality trait: independent. She believes she has the strength and capability to do anything she sets out to do.
I find myself in constant prayer asking God for wisdom to lead and nurture this little blessing of ours. My hope is to be the kind of mom that holds Rose in an open palm to God, trusting her completely to Him. He is her ultimate Father and Creator. He knows best and He’s the one with the plan. But I realize it is so much easier said than done. Which is why I pray.
Well, one year in the books! We celebrated with family and a few close friends. It was small and simple, just as I had hoped. And special. I can’t wait to see what’s next!
P.S. If you’re planning your little one’s first birthday, here are a few details on what you see here. For decorations, we cut out circles from different shades of pink paper, then strung them with ribbon for garland and taped them around window frames and on the wall as a backdrop for a photo booth. Pink and polka dots were our theme for the party. My dear friend Lily made Rose’s cake and obviously chose “Rose” as the theme for her cake with different shades of pink to match the decorations. Both those are just the details, the heart behind the party is that we wanted it to be small and intimate. We have so many wonderful people in our lives who we could have invited, and in all honesty, wanted to invite. But we believe in “less is more” and kept this at the forefront of our minds when it came to planning. So, we chose to surround Rose on her first birthday with the people she knew best, the individuals who surrounded our family this year and helped us get through the difficult days and celebrated with us on the good days. And it all turned out just as we had hoped. Simple and fun and pink!
It’s Friday! And I couldn’t be happier for a weekend ahead with no plans on the agenda.
What are you up to this weekend? If you’re local to the bay area, are there any fun events going on we should be aware of? We’re brainstorming ideas for a family field trip somewhere on Saturday.
And here we are for a new installment of The Weekender! Here’s a peek into our world lately.
Whole 30 Celebration Lunch: We are officially on Day 20 of the Whole 30. Yesterday we got together with a group of friends who have joined us in this journey to share a meal, swap recipes and tips, and encourage each other on for the last leg. Not only was the food amazing, but it was such a reminder to me of the power of community. I left thankful to be on this journey to better health with so many great people walking alongside us too. By the way, we’re considering doing a Whole60 and continuing on for an additional 30 days. Would anyone like to join us?
Destination Wedding: We booked our first destination wedding this week! I am so excited! We’ll be heading to the beautiful state of Colorado this July. I grew up visiting Colorado because my uncle lived there, but it will be Vitaliy’s first time. It’s a family wedding too so I’ll get to enjoy those nearest and dearest to me which makes it all the more special.
Stay-At-Home-Working-Mom: Being a stay-at-home-working-mom is all about trial and error. I’m learning to get creative about when and how I work. And I’m trying to hustle when I do have the time. Rose is now 12 months old and naps 2 – 3 hours per day but it usually comes in the form of one nap these days. I blame teething, but who really knows. And the timing of that one nap changes day to day. It all used to be very structured and a bit more predictable, but as all things having to do with babies go, things changed. So for the current season I’m in, this is a rough outline of how I’m making things work. I have the most generous people in my life who are willing to invest their time to be with Rose and give me a break. This involves one 2 – 3 hour window per week, usually on Monday or Tuesday. I try to hustle during nap time but this is usually a juggle between work, working out, and prepping meals. One, or usually two, lose out. With grandma now living with us, I can often sneak in a few minutes here and there when Rose is happily playing with her Baba. On top of all that, I started working with a fellow creative one night a week, my friend Mandy from Delighted Co….She is a working mom who also owns her own business. We meet at our local library, sit alongside each other for support and accountability, and work our way towards our dreams. It’s been so helpful – both professionally and personally.
Wedding Blogs: If you are newly engaged or know someone planning their wedding, here are three wedding blogs on my radar recently. Borrowed and Blue – I just discovered this blog but I like the layout and it seems like it has a lot of valuable and helpful information. Snippet & Ink – this wedding blog feels more genuine to me. I feel like a lot of wedding blogs are just about pretty pictures, but S&I seems to value good imagery with an emphasis on storytelling. The Daily Wedding – I recently discovered this blog because a bride inquired after finding us in their “photographer” section. Thanks for the feature! Again, I like the “real wedding” feel to the images and their heart for marriage.
Life Hack – Bulk Meal Prepping: I won’t lie – I’m learning to love to cook. Emphasis on “learning”. Vitaliy is an artist in every way, even in the kitchen. He even plates his meals in such a way that looks as if we’re eating at a 5-star restaurant. So, cooking three meals a day is not appealing to me. My current life hack for preventing the need to cook every meal while doing the Whole 30 which requires real food for every meal is to cook in bulk. We now double or even triple our recipes so that we have leftovers for this week and, if possible, can freeze some for a future meal as well. It has been a game changer and something I hope to continue doing even after we finish the Whole 30.
Date Night: We were not able to make date night happen yet this week. Vitaliy had a big deadline for a commercial project he’s working on so he worked through the evening last night. We’re hoping to find some time today while Rose naps. And it will likely involve working on our powersheets. We’re trying to finally finish setting our goals for 2016 by the start of March.
