A few years ago someone implied that I sugar coat the things I share publicly whether on my blog or via Facebook.

Whether she meant it to be or not, I took it as a compliment. I do make an effort to share things that are positive and uplifting. Life is not easy for anyone, so I don’t find it beneficial to others to regurgitate life’s hardships, many of which are a fault of my own shortcomings. With that being said, I also took it as constructive criticism and kept it in the back of my mind as a personal reminder to be real.

The date ideas we share and the relationship advice I give is not because we’ve got it all together. And it’s definitely not because we’re experts at marriage. The date ideas are meant to inspire. When I recommend going apple picking, it’s less about the apple picking and more about reminding you to invest in your relationship. Maybe apple picking is out of the question for you in this season of life, but you can grab some apples and caramel dip on your way home from work today and have a little treat and devote some quality time to your spouse.

Though I’ve also been accused of having it easy in marriage because “our personalities and temperament help Vitaliy and I get along easier than other couples,” I would beg to differ. Marriage is hard for every couple it’s just that people’s issues look differently. When I share relationship advice such as the “lie of pushing through” it’s because I am really struggling with this in my relationship. And I think to myself, maybe somebody else is too so I share about it. Guess who’s just pushing through again? We are! You’re never going to “arrive” in marriage. If you want it to last, it’s going to take hard work always.

Let’s not be people who think our relationship is better or worse than the other. I’m guilty of both. Let’s remind ourselves that we all have moments in our marriage like the picture above, filled with laughter and playful kisses. But we also all have moments filled with real problems and pain. Nobody is better than the other. We’re all in this together. Let’s just not give up.