Written by Candace on June 9, 2015 | 1 Comment

Make Marriage Happen with Lara Casey – Part 1

I think it’s true that we are stronger together, whether in marriage, through friendship, or even business. I think it rings true for all human relationships.

As I began to think about the future of this blog and my Make Marriage Happens series, I felt like I wanted to come along side others who have this same passion for marriage as I do. If we bring our voices together, surely our message will be heard louder. The first person I thought of was Lara Casey. She too has a business rooted in encouraging couples in the start of their marriages. With a baby on the way, an adoption in process, and a new book, I emailed her assuming she wouldn’t have the time to contribute. But as always, her generosity seems endless.

Lara, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing with our readers this week. I have no doubt that someone reading this will leave encouraged today. You are a constant inspiration in my life to make what matters happen. And your powersheets and conference have given me the tools to do the hard work of bringing dreams into realities. Congratulations on your new book and baby (possibly babies!) on the way. May God continue to bless you so you can continue to be such a blessing to others.

Without further ado, please meet Lara Casey, read an introduction to her life and business, and how she met her husband Ari. Then come back later this week to hear an honest lesson she learned in marriage and one of her favorite date night ideas.

I went to school for music theatre, was a personal trainer, and I am the Editor-in-Chief of Southern Weddings magazine where our mission is to encourage meaningful beginnings to married life.

I am also the founder of the Making Things Happen Conference, creator of the PowerSheets goal setting system, new author of Make It Happen, and grateful gardener. I know for sure that we were all created for a purpose. I used to feel lost and chased elusive perfection. It ran me into the ground. God is still working on me, but now I know that the things in this world aren’t “it”. To me, making “it” happen means choosing Him. There is endless freedom in that. And if I would have read all of this years ago I wouldn’t have believed it.

I met Ari eight years ago when I was a personal trainer and he was in my hometown of Pensacola, doing his Navy flight training. He came up to me in the gym and asked me for workout advice. We quickly fell in love and eloped to Vegas five months later! Our marriage was a mess in the early years. We were two ships passing, sleeping in separate beds, and chasing all the wrong things in life. Then God started to shake things up. You can read our whole story in my new book. Only God could have made the impossible changes happen in our lives. Our marriage was radically changed as we both began doing things God’s way. Our journey wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. Now we know that the impossible is possible with God. He can change anything.

Photo by Gina Zeidler

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Written by Candace on May 28, 2015 | 3 Comments

Garrett & Kimberly
Lifestyle Engagement Portraits

Garrett and Kimberly first met on their community swim team when they were only 6 and 7 years old.

Kimberly recalls having a crush on Garrett, but cooties were still very real so she simply admired him from afar. One year, however, they both won the coveted award and their names were carved side by side on the same plaque. According to Kim, “In my expert 10-year-old opinion, that was fate. We were meant to be together.”

And she was right! Garrett and Kimberly both joined their high school swim team which brought them back together. All of Kimberly’s childhood feelings for Garrett returned. They quickly became friends and began dating. But like most high school relationships, it ended before graduation came around. They went their separate ways for college, but remained friends and occasionally stayed in touch over email.

But after college, they both found themselves back in San Francisco, Garrett attending UCSF for dental school and Kimberly starting her career in healthcare finance. Around this time, Facebook recommend Kimberly as a “friend you should stay in touch with” to Garrett. He sent her a message and they reconnected as friends. And just like that, Kimberly’s childhood dream came back. It was fate – these two were meant to be together.

Garrett spent the next few years trying to convince Kimberly to go on a real date with him, as more than just a friend. It was during a two month sabbatical out of the country, waking up sick and unable to get out of bed that she realized how foolish she had been by rejecting all of Garrett’s invitations. She returned home, they went out for dinner, and the night ended with a kiss. Fate had brought them back together again and for good this time.

We had the pleasure of photographing Kim and Garrett’s engagement session in Danville, the place where it all began. I can’t wait to share the beautiful Tahoe wedding with you next!

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Written by Candace on May 26, 2015 | 2 Comments

Pre-Planning for Date Night

If there’s one thing I’ve learned so far about parenting, it’s that it’s hard to think when you’re sleep deprived.

And let’s face it, there is a lot of sleep deprivation in parenting! But the sooner you accept it, the better you can plan for it and the fuzzy mind of a new parent won’t get the best of you. For example, we recently had our very first wedding post-baby. There are a lot of things to prepare for a wedding. On top of that, there are a ton of things to think through when you’re handing your child over to someone for an entire day. We knew once the morning arrived it would be very easy to miss things so we spent an inordinate amount of time prepping on Friday evening. It was a good thing because Rose woke up at 4:45am that morning so my mind was quite foggy as we began to get ready for the day. Good thing I’ve grown to love coffee! We were so well prepared that we arrived 45 minutes early to the wedding. It pays to have a plan!

Just as our clients and Rose deserve our very best, so does our marriage. As you know, we believe setting aside time for date nights is an integral way to invest in your marriage. But as you know, the practicalities of life, especially parenting, can easily dismay you from taking the time and energy to make them happen. We quickly realized that we would need a general game plan in order to keep consistent and creative date nights happening. It’s so easy to get in a rut of dinner and a movie! Or worst, to have date night roll around and you’re too tired to think of what to do so you just cancel.

We decided to come up with a few ideas/options to choose from each week. This way there was flexibility to the routine, but enough planned ahead of time to not have any room for excuse. Here are the options we choose from each week.

Dinner and a movie (we are movie addicts!).
Date Night In (we love to cook together). This is also good for weeks we can’t find child care.
Coffee Shop life planning with our Make It Happen powersheets.
Spontaneous/Adventure (hike, concert, donut run – the options are endless!) This is where you keep creativity alive!

Date night is all about staying connected! This could mean emotionally, physically or spiritually. Two weeks ago we canceled childcare and I spent a good hour crying on Vitaliy’s shoulder while Rose napped. It wasn’t the “ideal” date night, but it brought us closer together.

Life throws curve balls all the time, so we try to put everything aside once a week in order to reconnect, recharge, and make sure that we’re staying together as husband and wife. Because we are stronger together. When Thursday rolls around, we now look to this list, assess how we’re feeling and what we think our relationship needs, and make our selection. A little pre-planning goes a long way! And there’s always room for flexibility. Last week Rose was experiencing a growth spurt and her sleeping was all off schedule. We had planned on doing option #3 above, but instead, we spent date night walking with Rose in her stroller while we talked and spent time dreaming together. Again, it wasn’t the best case scenario for date night, but it helped us connect and dream about our future, a future that includes a strong marriage and family life.

What tips and tricks do you use to help make date night happen? Please share in the comments below!

This is the first in a three part series to get us to Think Different About Date Night.

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