Physically Present, Mentally Absent

A couple years ago, I got a little creative with my Christmas presents for Vitaliy.

Actually, I’m not sure “creative” is the right word because there was nothing DIY or pretty about it. In fact, it was completely last minute. I grabbed used boxes that were going to be thrown away and I finished wrapping them just moments before we were supposed to open gifts. Like I said, they weren’t pretty, but their value could be measured in love and the words enclosed came straight from my heart.

Inside one of the boxes read a note that said “my mind.” I wanted to gift my mind to Vitaliy because most days I didn’t. Most days I found myself physically present while being mentally absent. Imagine talking to someone only to have them ask you to repeat yourself revealing they were never really listening to you in the first place. I’m sharing this now because it’s something I find myself still struggling with. I run through a host of scenarios in my mind while trying to listen enough to pretend I’m still engaged. If intimacy is all about getting to know the other person more, you can imagine how much this affects my intimacy with Vitaliy.

Along with your thoughts, it’s also very easy to disengage with your spouse by getting on your phone. This is something Vitaliy and I both admit we struggle with and it has caused points of tension for us both. Whether it’s your thoughts, your phone, or something else entirely, it’s important to be aware of the things that could be preventing you from giving your spouse your undivided attention. And if you aren’t really sure, just ask them. Perhaps chat about it on your next date night. I’m praying for you and your relationship in this area. It’s not an easy one. But remember, you’re not alone. Let’s Make Marriage Happen together.

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