How To Keep Newness In A Relationship

I don’t know about you, but sometimes our date nights can be so predictable.

When life gets busy and we’re exhausted, we end up doing the usual dinner and a movie. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s still one of our favorite things to do together, but keeping things fresh and new can really make a difference to a relationship that is anything but. Though the location and experience isn’t the most important aspect of a date night, doing something the other person enjoys can help express your love and care for them without you having to say a word.

When Vitaliy and I were dating, we were constantly doing fun and spontaneous things together. To be quite honest, I didn’t care what we were doing as long as I was next to him. But after 6 years of marriage, things are different. That curiosity and excitement, the newness of the relationship, has worn off. It used to worry me and I’d wonder if I was falling out of love with Vitaliy. Thankfully, I’ve learned that love is a choice and that curiosity and excitement comes with consistently getting to know the other person.

What a person liked a year ago may not be what they like today. Their likes may have changed or they may have new passions now. In order to add some newness to our date nights and to continue getting to know each other, Vitaliy and I sat down and each made a list of date night ideas we’d personally like. Now, when we’re too tired to think of something more original than dinner and a movie, we can pull out our lists and grab an idea and run with it.

Living near the San Francisco airport with amazing views of the bay, one of the items on Vitaliy’s list was to go watch the airplanes one evening. The weather has finally been warm enough so we set out to enjoy one of Vitaily’s date night ideas of choice. We quickly learned that this was not an original idea as the area was filled with other couples. We just happened to be the only couple under the age of 50. But if I’m still happy sitting next to Vitaliy watching airplanes 20 years from now, then I will know that I’ve accomplished something worthwhile in my life.