Before we move onto May’s theme for the Making Marriage Happen series, I thought I’d share a few more thoughts about forgiveness I had hoped to elaborate on but didn’t get to this month. If you’re new here, you can find my original post on forgiveness here.
These are just a few of the things I’ve learned about forgiveness in my own marriage.
- Try not to get hung up on the words “I’m sorry.” Early in our marriage I used to get upset with the way Vitaliy would express an apology. Isn’t that funny? While trying to reconcile, I’d get all upset again because he didn’t apologize using the specific words, “I’m sorry.” He couldn’t understand why I didn’t see that he was trying to apologize and I couldn’t understand how an apology wouldn’t include the words “I’m sorry.” After 7 years of marriage, we are now better at understanding each other and there’s definitely a stronger level of trust.
- Do not let unforgiveness hold you back from giving or receiving love. Unforgiveness will inevitably lead to bitterness. Sometimes we have unforgiveness towards ourselves, our spouse, or someone else that ends up having a negative effect on your marriage relationship. Do not allow that in your relationship. Choose forgiveness! Get healing help, if needed. This will free you up to give and receive love which will inevitably lead to joy.
- Forgiveness requires humility. And let’s be honest, humility hurts which is why we don’t want anything to do with it. But to give or receive forgiveness requires humility. There was a day this week I had to apologize multiple times in the same day. It was humiliating! Forgiveness is never easy. Whether Vitaliy or myself is needing to forgive or be forgiven, the alternative of being separated from each other is just not worth holding on to our pride. We’d rather be enjoying each other! (Like running and laughing in the rain together! See photo.)
Those are just a few lessons I’ve been learning the last few months. I hope they help in some way. Like I said, forgiveness is not easy, but it’s oh so worth it! Let’s choose forgiveness and make marriage happen.